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CHAPTER 07 / Build your experience

Choose activities with intention

Read, choose your next action, and make it fit your circumstances.

Start with something you care enough about to keep doing after the first exciting week. Then look for a place where you can learn, become dependable, and take responsibility. This might be an established team, an after-school program, your job, or something you do independently.

Exploration is useful. You are allowed to discover that an activity is not for you. Over time, give more attention to commitments where you are growing or helping.

Ask four questions

Do I want to understand this better? Is there useful work I can actually do? Can I sustain the time and transportation it requires? Will I have a chance to receive feedback and improve?

Compare an opportunity's actual work with its cost. A university's name on a summer program is not evidence that attending will improve your admissions chances.

Look inside what you already do

Existing commitmentA useful next stepEvidence you could keep
Marching bandHelp new members practice difficult passagesPractice plans and feedback from the director
Part-time jobHelp a supervisor improve training for new staffAn approved checklist and responsibilities you handled
Family caregivingDescribe the routines and responsibilities you already manageA private record of time and recurring tasks
School clubTake responsibility for one recurring needMeeting notes and completed work
Independent interestComplete something and seek informed feedbackDrafts, revisions, a portfolio, or a demonstration

Caring for your family already takes work. You do not have to expand that responsibility to include it in your account of how you spend time.

Decide what to stop

For each optional commitment, finish this sentence: "I am staying because ____." A useful answer might involve enjoyment, belonging, responsibility, learning, or contribution. "Someone told me it looks good" deserves another look.

If you leave something, follow through on current promises and communicate respectfully. Use the time you recover deliberately.

This week, choose one commitment to continue, one to deepen, and, if needed, one to reduce. Explain those decisions in a few sentences. You should be able to recognize yourself in the plan.